I interviewed the Segue Pathways director,
Ryan Stringfield about teens, parents, and drugs. Here’s part of that interview:
What do you do?
- I am the Pathways director at Segue Ministries. I am responsible for our on campus drug and alcohol prevention program called DnA. In that role, my responsibilities are working with the campus directors to establish a relationship with the faculty and PTA to bring our prevention program to the high school. The recovery component is to partner with churches and local communities where we are doing our prevention programs to train and equip leaders to run a Pathways 12-step support group. I have been working with teens in a vocational role for six years.
Why do teens act rebellious toward their parents/authority figures?
- It all relates to the fact that they think they know what’s best for them. So when someone tries to tell them what to do, they rebel against them. They aren’t open for feedback, and that’s what creates the dynamics between them and their parents. When you really think about it, that’s how we all are. We have the attitude of “I know what’s best for me.” For parents going through that: Don’t personalize what’s personal. Your son or daughter thinks they know what’s best for them. It’s scary to be vulnerable to the fact that we don’t know what’s best. They just love themselves more than their relationship with their parents.
Why do teens gravitate towards drugs and alcohol?
- They associate it with being fun and freedom. We were created to have a feeling of love and significance, and at the end of the day, they think that drugs and alcohol will make them happy. It also could be moving away from pain towards pleasure. It’s social, relational, and an experience. The culture makes it seem like a place of fun and peace.
How can you tell if your teen is doing drugs?
- The first thing that you would be able to notice would be change in personality: a loss in interest in things that used to matter to them, defensiveness, withdrawal. There might be a decline in their grades or appearance. Eyes become bloodshot and speech is slurred. They could also develop irregular sleeping habits. These things can also be connected to other sin issues: porn, lying, sexual sin that they’re keeping from the world.
How can you ask your teen if he or she is doing drugs?
- The best way to ask them is to sit down with them over a meal and ask them. The relationships that most kids have with their parents is just a way to get what they want. When parents speak to their kids, a lot of times, the kids’ minds are already set. Make sure that you have a relationship before you try to get personal with them. Don’t just drive them around and ask them if they’re doing homework, spend extended, intentional time with your kids. If they think all you care about is if they get things done, then they’re going to check out when you ask if they’re doing drugs. Make sure you invest in their lives before you try and get personal.
